Now what?

Now what?

What is what?

Why do I keep finding myself asking this question?

Why does it feel like my life is made out of regressions?

I used to live a life, a life without these kind of temptations…

This, this what I’m doing is a type of subordination.

Towards who? myself? who am I anyway? the structure that built me? Teared down years ago with tears and self reflection.

Leading to nowhere, leading to now. Leading to the mindset that works and falls, drowns and thrives in a world turning brown.

Beautiful sunsets, sunshine and smiles, keep wearing me down.

A saucy recipe of teachings, conditioning, morals, beliefs I was taught by a father and mother who lived their life in one direction.

What have they to teach me for a life I now live full of Alternatives, a luxury chained to derivatives?

Who in my life understands that their advice takes me nowhere, nothing there is for them to mention that can make me live a life on the right direction…don’t they know what or who to mention? …nothing can help me but my own self liberation.

Damn nations with their identities and sense of tradition. I escaped mine, in search for purpose I don’t yet understand, it’s safe and warm during hibernation, but winters last longer than anyone dares to mention.

Sometimes it feels like I’m on a different dimension, not to mention the days that are buried under time who no one has enough expression to perpetuate the words that come out of my own discretion.